Dating couples counseling
It’s not a reluctance to make a commitment, but an anxiety.”Of course, as any good therapist, counselor, rabbi, or priest can attest, just because someone expresses interest in making a relationship work—by attending couples therapy, say—does not mean that it should, or even that that is what the person really wants.Once in a while, Ziff says, she learns in private consultation with one member of a couple that the person would rather call it quits, but doesn’t really know how.“Let’s say the average marriage is lasting roughly seven and a half years,” she says, “and roughly 40 percent of first marriages, and 60 percent of second marriages, end in divorce.
“It’s a chi-chi, fun thing to do, to have a therapist,” she says.
With divorce so routine and pedestrian, and the longterm success of marriage precarious—and of such coin-toss odds—often relationship coaches may offer what parents cannot.
“Both of us have divorced parents,” said Meredith, a 29-year-old law-school graduate living in New York, who finally married her longterm boyfriend after years of indecision and six months of weekly therapy.
Broder says he sees couples coming to therapy to reevaluate whether a stagnating relationship is one they should continue, after the initial passion, the lovestruck honeymoon period of the early months, has worn off.
“I define a longterm relationship as one that survives the dopamine high,” he says.
In comments on an article about couples counseling posted on Très Sugar, a site devoted to women of Generation Y, a woman writes that she’s going in for a few counseling sessions with her boyfriend of three months.